Dandelion

Our trembling sinful desires make us sick - when we tremble with fear before a holy God. He knows our 'frame', how we were formed - that we are merely dust and only have our being, through his gracious breath. With one puff we would blow away like the seeds of a dandelion - insignificant and forgotten on the winds of time.

His breath hurts. The naked skin feels tender and exposed. Our heart aches ... we writhe in shame, preferring to hide from His tender gaze. We know it is too gracious, too generous. We know it is undeserved. We can't bear to let the burning desire of his jealous love for us, sink into our bones. It feels too heavy.  The intensity of His holy love - exposes the utter depravity of our own crippling attempts. Our love is weak, broken, fallible ... fallen.

And yet like a compassionate father holding his weak and fragile baby - the Father scoops us up (our shameful naked frame) and He breathes not the breath of wrath and destruction, but of love and redemption. Why? ... why? 

WHY?

So ...  it may be known through generations that 'the Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love.' The crown is not ours to boast about. We are not worthy of the golden threads of compassion that circle our head - their glint radiates His glory. He is worthy of all praise.

'Praise the LORD, my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the LORD, my soul,

and forget no all his benfits - 

who forgive all your sinse

and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.'

PSALM 103:1-5

The Fragrance of Life

The jasmine is out .... in frothy scented bloom, marking my wedding day 10 years ago. This gloriously heady fragrance wrapped itself around me, like the most beautiful of gowns, as I entered through the church doors. A perfume that is now bitter-sweet, in the memories it awakens. A union that was meant to express and reflect the perfumed breath of love-drenched life ... officially ends in two days, with the lingering smell of 'death'; of two messed up, broken, sinful lives. This is not how it was meant to be - this shattering of oneness.

This is not Gods beautiful image of marriage. A lifelong covenant relationship that is designed to reflect the intimate relationship between God and his pure spotless bride, the church - fully living, fully breathing, fully thriving - through grace in Christ. A holy love relationship between people and their Maker.

As I sit and ponder the passing fragrance of jasmine ... that is here one season and gone the next. I am drawn to the sweetest perfume of all, one that will never fade. The fragrance of true life, the aroma of ... Christ! In his death, the shedding of his blood - incredibly the torn, stench-of-death gown I wear, is washed clean, with new life.

I draw in deep - filling my lungs with the fresh, comforting smell of a wind-breathed, white linen robe - fresh off the washing line of grace! :)

Amazing grace.

"I delight greatly in the Lord;

my soul rejoices in my God.

For he has clothed me with the garments of salvation

and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness..."

(Isaiah 61: 10)

Amy Carmichael

I was reminded of this book ('His Thoughts Said, His Father Said' by Amy Carmichael) by a friend who shared about having a blow-fly buzzing around her head. I will have to track down another copy, as I have lost mine along the way ... Amy's writing has been such an encouragement to me in the past.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Carmichael

Leave that book

Her thoughts said, “I have been reading a spiritual book and I am confused and tired with trying to understand.”

Her Father said, “Leave that book and read the Book that thou lovest best; thou wilt find it much simpler.”

Flies

Her thoughts said, “When I would seek Him whom my soul loveth, confusions like flies buzz about me.”

Her Father said, “Press through these confusions as thou wouldest press through a swarm of gnats. Take no notice of them. Be not stayed by them. Be not occupied with them. Be not entangled by them.”

Ye shall be trusted

The daughter knew that if she came to serve the Lord she must prepare her soul for temptation; but she had never expected the particular temptation that confronted her now.

Her Father asked her if she had expected to choose her temptations. The daughter said, “No,” but she longed to have done with temptation for ever!

Her Father said, “One day it shall be so.” “As a dream when one awaketh, so it will be… But thou must learn to endure and to conquer. Blessed is the one who endureth temptation.”

And He told her of hidden manna prepared for the overcomer. “Watch for the hidden manna,” He said, “It will come in hidden ways.”

Then to the daughter it was given to taste of the manna hidden in a word she had not found before: ‘Put your trust in the Lord God, and you shall be trusted.’ The daughter was greatly delighted with that word, and she prayed that she might be made worthy of so great a thing as the trust of her Father!

A breath may be a prayer

Her thoughts said, “Suddenly a question is asked, suddenly a decision must be made. The answer and the decision affect the lives of others. In me is no wisdom at all. Sometimes it is as if I could not even pray.”

Her Father said, “A breath may be a prayer; I hide not Mine ear at thy breathing. But be a simple child with Me. Ask for the thing you need most. I will not upbraid you. [I will not criticize you.] If any lack wisdom, let her ask. And as thou goest on thy way thou shalt do as occasion serve thee; for God is with thee. Do you lack strength? The Lord of hosts will be strength to them that turn the battle at the gate.”

Wearied with Her journey

Her thoughts said, “I could do better work for my Lord if it were not that I'm tired. I am tired of being tired.”

Her Father said, “Jesus, being wearied with His journey, sat thus on the well. Are you not willing to be wearied with your journey? Many are wearied in the service of self, the world, earthly glory -- you are loosed from that bondage. Rejoice in the liberty to be weary for God's sake, the One who loved you and gave Himself for you. Abide in His love, and you will learn to give as He gave, even in weariness; to live as He lived, more than conqueror over the flesh.”

The age-long minute

Thou art the Lord who slept upon the pillow,

Thou are the Lord who soothed the furious sea,

What matter beating wind and tossing billow

If only we are in the boat with Thee?

Hold us in quiet through the age-long minute

While Thou art silent, and the wind is shrill:

Can the boat sink while Thou, dear Lord, art in it?

Can the heart faint that waiteth on Thy will?