The Fragrance of Life

The jasmine is out .... in frothy scented bloom, marking my wedding day 10 years ago. This gloriously heady fragrance wrapped itself around me, like the most beautiful of gowns, as I entered through the church doors. A perfume that is now bitter-sweet, in the memories it awakens. A union that was meant to express and reflect the perfumed breath of love-drenched life ... officially ends in two days, with the lingering smell of 'death'; of two messed up, broken, sinful lives. This is not how it was meant to be - this shattering of oneness.

This is not Gods beautiful image of marriage. A lifelong covenant relationship that is designed to reflect the intimate relationship between God and his pure spotless bride, the church - fully living, fully breathing, fully thriving - through grace in Christ. A holy love relationship between people and their Maker.

As I sit and ponder the passing fragrance of jasmine ... that is here one season and gone the next. I am drawn to the sweetest perfume of all, one that will never fade. The fragrance of true life, the aroma of ... Christ! In his death, the shedding of his blood - incredibly the torn, stench-of-death gown I wear, is washed clean, with new life.

I draw in deep - filling my lungs with the fresh, comforting smell of a wind-breathed, white linen robe - fresh off the washing line of grace! :)

Amazing grace.

"I delight greatly in the Lord;

my soul rejoices in my God.

For he has clothed me with the garments of salvation

and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness..."

(Isaiah 61: 10)

Moving ... Settling in the Valley of Hope

Wow .... so it looks like I'm moving!! No surprises there, for all who know my nomadic lifestyle up to this point! Mum and Dad have invested in a house ... and I get to be the blessed, rent paying occupant!!

So, (and here is the interesting part) ... it looks like I'm settling to become a semi-permanent (you have no idea how weird that word 'permanent' is to write) resident of Hope Valley.

HOPE Valley ... what a wonderful place to live and start a new life! Who would have thought a valley, of all things, could be hopeful? So often a valley represents despair ... or the 'shadow of death'. But no ... God is placing me in a valley of hope! And what a wonderful hope I have.

"See, I am making all things new" Revelations 21:5 ... is the verse that upon waking this morning, came to mind.

How I long and hope for that glorious day ... when all things will be made new. When all the struggling will cease. When every tear is wiped from our eyes, as we dwell and live with our heavenly Father in his renewed and restored Creation.

I am powerless to save myself from the enslavement, ravages and entagling of sin in my own life. This sin is a rejection of, and separates me from, my Creator who is holy and pure in love. In my rebellion - I think I can do it on my own, struggling in my own strength ...but I become a 'pit-dweller', dwelling in the pit of despair. I look around and see the consequences of sin and rebellion everywhere. This world is broken and suffering. There seems to be no hope.

But, this is my HOPE.

I hope in the incredible and gracious love of Jesus, who came and dwelt among us. Suffering; submitting to death, so that all who believe and trust in this incredible grace - are redeemed, rescued and released from the curse and bondage of sin.

I hope in His victorious resurrection - victory over sin and death. ... so that all may rise with him, (out of the pit) into a new life - transformed and re-newed.

And I hope in his coming again, in glory - where he will reign over the re-newed and made new Creation, as our glorious Servant King.

"It is finished"! (John 19:30) ... "It is DONE"!! (Revelation 21: 6) - WOW!

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5)

This HOPE is true and sure, and holds me through the struggles of this present life. The Spirit gives me the assurance of Gods incredible love, he pour assurance into my heart - God cherishes me, he cares for me, he holds me, he carries me, he heals me, he sustains me, he delivers me, he provides for me, he knows me, he understands me, he wonderfully made me.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

His work of renewal, (although not brought to completion) is actually happening in the here and now ... and (oh, what amazing grace), is happening in me!

So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ . . . . (2 Cor 5:17-18).

For if anyone is in Christ ... they are part of the new creation. Part of Gods reconciling, healing, restoring ministry to our broken, sin cursed world, in the here and now. And 'God’s people are to be, through the work of the Spirit, an anticipatory sign of God’s healing and restorative future for the world.'

What a challenge, what a privilege for the church of believers today ... for me.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair and has put me in the valley of hope! What a wonderful God!!

As I dwell in Hope Valley, my prayer is that all will see where I put my hope ... and will praise and worship our loving, compassionate, merciful God.

The Veggie Patch

The soil in the veggie patch lies cold and fallow,
as the steely winter’s sun, slants through the leafless boughs of the plum tree.
The air is icy and still ... the silence broken,
only by the ‘coo’ of a pigeon, perched within its naked branches.


Many growing seasons have gone before,
some producing an abundance of harvest.
But, the last veggie crop had become sickly and diseased.
The tomato vine, spindly ...
a creeper, having woven its way through;
tightly wrapped tendrils, disfiguring the slender shoots.

The red fruit, few and hard to find, among the twisted chaos of creeper and vine-
had yellowed; shriveled dry, dropping seed into the sunless soil below.

Creeper and tomato, so thickly bound, differentiation became impossible ...
the tomato plant, unrecognisable in the tangled, knotted, organic mess.
The flow of life, slowly sapped, in the tight confines of squeezing power.

The secateur blades cut deep,
tearing the now lifeless plant,
from the menacingly tight grip of creeper.
The agonising work of separating limb from limb ...
somehow, excruciatingly relieving.
Browned canes crack and are tossed on the rotting heap of compost.
Until, finally there is no sign of vine or creeper;
of the tortuous, intertwined life that had been.
Only sickly soil, hiding the bitter and unspoken.


The fork pierces through unyielding clay -
suddenly overturned in a flurry of confusion.
Exposed and raw,
roots are heaved out of the ground,
dirt flying, a gaping hole left in its wake.

A spade of grace, lifts and fills the empty, exposed spaces.
The solid clods are broken and gently turned,
air is breathed within the now surrendered and crumbling earth.
Sour soil, is mixed with the sustaining food of compost and manure,
giving off the fresh, wholesome aroma of active and organic ... life.

Finally, brown fallow earth lies ... alive and still.
Peaceful, waiting, hoping, trusting.
Vulnerable beauty - barren and bare.

As the cool of winter days pass, with the billowing of grey clouds,
the seeds lie hidden, dormant, seemingly dead ...
until the joyful pink of blossom in the plum tree appear.

The warmth of sun and refreshing cool of rain,
soaks deeply,
penetrating through hard shells ...
awakening shoots of new life,



- the hope of a fresh harvest.

“My life is like a faded leaf,

My harvest dwindled to a husk;

Truly my life is void and brief

And tedious in the barren dust;

My life is like a frozen thing,

No bud nor greenness can I see:

Yet rise it shall — the sap of Spring;

O Jesus rise in me."

'Gracious Father, fill the garden of my soul with the wind of love,

that the scents of the Christian life may be wafted to others;

then come and gather fruits to your glory.

So shall I fulfill the great end of my being -

to glorify you and be a blessing to others. Amen'

What We Need is More Life - by George MacDonald

Let us in all the troubles of life remember that our one lack is life - that what we need is more LIFE - more of the life-making presence in us making us more, and more largely, alive. When most oppressed, when most weary of "life", as our unbelief would phrase it, let us remember that it is, in truth, the inroad and presence of death we are weary of. When most inclined to sleep, let us rouse ourselves to LIVE.



Of all things, let us avoid the false refuge of weary collapse, a hopeless yielding to things as they are. It is life in us that is discontented. We need more of what is discontented, not more of the cause of discontentment. Discontentment, I repeat, is the life in us that has not enough of itself, is not enough to itself, so calls for more. He has the victory who, in the midst of pain and weakness, cries out, not for death, not for the repose of forgetfulness ... but for strength to fight, for more power, for more consciousness of being, more God in him.



The true man trusts in a strength which is not his, which he does not feel, does not even always desire. He believes in a power that seems far from him, that is yet at the root of his fatigue itself and his need of rest - rest as far from death as is labor.



To trust in the strength of God in our weakness; to say, "I am weak; so let me be. God is strong"; to seek from him who is our life, as the natural, simple cure of all that is amiss with us ... power to do and be and live, even when we are weary - this is the victory that overcomes the world.



To believe in God our strength in the face of all seeming denial; to believe in him out of the heart of weakness and unbelief, in spite of numbness and weariness and lethargy; to believe in the wide-awake reality of his being, through all the stupefying, enervating, distorting dream; to will to wake, when the very being seems athirst for a godless repose - these are the broken steps up to the high fields where repose is but a form of strength, strength but a form of joy, joy but a from of love.



"I am weak," says the true soul, "but not so weak that I would not be strong, not so sleepy that I would not see the sun rise, not so lame but that I would walk! Thanks be to him who perfects strength in weakness and gives to his beloved of his very life even while they sleep!"



What Life Might Be!



If we will but let our God and Father work his will with us, there can be no limit to his enlargement of our existence, to the flood of life with which he will overflow our consciousness. We have no conception of what life might be, of how vast the consciousness of which we could be capable.



If every sunlit, sail-crowded sea under blue heaven flecked with wind-chased white - filled your soul, as with a new gift of life ... think what sense of existence must be yours if he, (whose thought has but fringed its garment with the gladness of such a show), were to make his abode with you ... and while thinking of the gladness of God inside your being, let you know and feel that he is carrying you as a Father in his bosom!



'Discovering the Character of God' by George MacDonald



Jesus said "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.' (John 10:10)

Craving Pure Spiritual Milk

One of the most stressful things I have done as a newby Midwife was to help women, who’s baby’s were refusing to feed. The babies would work themselves up into a crying frenzy. There faces would be screwed up bawling, red with anger. It would seem as though their world was coming to an end. Their tummy was hungry ... but they did not realise that the way to stop this hunger, was to latch on and feed. And with all their screaming there seemed no way to convince them to do this. Having a cuddle or sucking on someones finger might soothe for a little while ... but then the discomfort of a hungry tummy, would result in more screaming!



One of the tricks to helping a newborn in this situation is to express a little milk and to place it on their lips ... to give them a taste. So many times, this is all they needed. Suddenly they would go quiet, nuzzle in, latch on and draw strongly on the milk they so desperately needed. It is so wonderful to see a baby ‘drunk’ and content, with a tummy full of milk. Two hours later, they are back asking for more ... now more familiar with the feeling in their tummy and what will satisfy it. Feeding round the clock, babies grow and thrive. Amazingly, milk is all a newborn needs to sustain them.



We all long for contentment and fulfillment. We desperately reach out to different things. We think if only I had ... a better job, lived somewhere else, had the perfect relationship, had children, had more money, had some chocolate in the cupboard ... I would feel happier, I would feel content, I would feel complete. We grasp at the things we think will fulfill us, and then are devastated when these things fail us. I am all too familiar with these feelings. We cry, we kick and scream, we feel bitter and angry. There is a gnawing hunger inside of us, that nothing seems to be able to satisfy.



In the Bible, Psalm 34:8 says ‘Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.’ It is the Lord’s goodness that we need to taste. The taste of His goodness is so sweet, so wonderful ... it will stop us in our tracks. It speaks to our hungry heart’s about real nourishment- we can’t help but want to go back for more. His goodness is shown in his amazing love. ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.’( John 3:16). Real life, real contentment, real fulfillment is found through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Jesus says that everything we need to sustain us in life ... is found in Him, he describes himself as being ‘the bread of life’. He says in John 6:27, ‘Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.’



Once we have tasted and accepted the Lord’s goodness, found in the gift of His Son, the Bible says it is like being born again - ‘In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade - kept in heaven for you ...’ (1 Peter 2:3-4). This new life has hope in something, in someone that will never fail us ... there is tremendous joy and peace in knowing and trusting in this truth. But it can’t stop there ... if we lose sight of God’s goodness, we fall back into the old way of life. Of trying to grasp at things ... that in the the end will fail ... and we will be back to feeling devastated. We are just like newborn babies, dependent upon it’s mother’s milk to grow and thrive in our new life. We need to be reminded again and again of the mercy and love found at the Cross ... and we need to grow up and learn how to live our new life in response to that. We need to walk daily, round the clock, with God- to talk with Him and to read His Word ... to understand more fully His character and to allow Him to work in our hearts, to help us grow in maturity. This is our ‘spiritual’ milk.



1 Peter 2:2 says, ‘Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.’



It would be wonderful to one day be able to sing this beautiful song of contentment with all of you, dear friends ...



'My heart is not proud, O Lord,

my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;

like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me.



O Israel, put your hope in the Lord

both now and forevermore.'



Psalm 131

Madly Skipping Around the Room, with full Abandon!

I was reading a story to my kids the other night – it was about a Mum who taught her daughter how to skip … and as I madly skipped around the room, with full abandon (!) to show them, Mummy could do it too, I was struck by something wonderful. My children help me to be myself. I don’t have to impress them or feel embarrassed in their presence – they don’t squash me into a box, restrict me, humiliate me or expect me to behave a particular way! I can just be ‘me’… which may include skipping madly around the room! I think this is a blessing from God that I should savour, as a mother of preschoolers … as I’m sure the time will come, when this will not be the case! Where a madly skipping mother will only bring embarrassment to her children!

Talking with lots of other Mum’s out there, I think it is common that we struggle with ‘who we are’ – when we become mothers. A lot of the things that used to define us, are no longer applicable. But I have found that being a mother has also reminded me, about a lot of things that used to also be ‘me’, that I had forgotten. This is pretty cool!

I have recently been reading and thinking about Psalm 139 in the Bible. It says that God knows everything about us, even better than we know ourselves! ‘Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord' (vs.4)…! He created us. He wonderfully ‘knit me together' (vs.13) in my mother’s womb. It says that ‘all the days ordained for me were written in your book, before one of them came to be’ (vs.16)!

I guess it could be a scary thought to be ‘known’ completely. Our masks and facades do not hold up before God, there is no way to hide from Him. There is no way to impress Him - the Creator of the universe, He knows us 'warts and all'. And yet the Bible describes this Creator God as being compassionate, slow to anger, rich in mercy and abounding in love. He ultimately demonstrated this love, through Jesus death and resurrection - dealing with the 'warts' and shame, that stand in the way of us being able to relate freely with a holy God. Through the work of the cross - our old grubby self is replaced with a new sqeaky clean version!

'Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ.' 2 Corinthians 5:17

How amazing and reassuring to be completely and unconditionally loved by my wonderful Creator God, who knows me - even better than I know myself! I am free to be myself- without shame... and to find my true identity - the person I was created to be, in being in relationship with Him.

This brings peace and joy to my heart!