Jar of Pickles

I had to smile as I climbed into bed last night. Tucked under the covers was a jar of pickled gherkins. J had woken me that morning with the words 'Here go Mum - pickles!' ... and the jar had been thrust into my hands. Bleary eyed I had tried focusing on J's face, in the hope that this might help me make more sense of the unusual gift he had given me.

Today as I sat in the sun and surveyed the glorious gift of Creation all around me, I was reminded of another morning a few years ago. I had woken wondering how I would get to church. The petrol tank and bank account were empty. Upon opening the front door, I found the answer ... for there sat a frozen leg of lamb and $20!! (I found out later that these had been left by my mother-in-law, who had recently had one of their lambs butchered!)

When I arrived at church, one of the ladies gave me a bag full of clothes for Hannah, who was almost one. On arriving home, I found another bag hanging on the front door, full of little girls shoes and a note attached from our neighbour - a lovely Christian lady, who encouraged me in my newness to motherhood. (She had a son the same age as Hannah, who was her sixth child!)

That afternoon there was a knock on the door, and I opened it to find the children of our neighbours on the other side. They excitedly presented me with a pair of little purple socks that they had found at the playground and thought that they would fit Hannah. As I went outside to talk with the children, their father (a struggling single Dad to 5 rambunctious children) climbed over the low wire fence that separated our properties and handed me a frozen apple pie!!!

On the evening of that day, I had sat perplexed and wondering ... at this odd assortment of unexpected gifts. Was it all just a coincidence ... or was this the hand of God?! It all seemed very odd, but I thanked Him for this unusual provision. Little did I know that by the end of that week, everything in my already shaky world would be turned up-side down. That we would be depending completely on God to provide for all our needs.

God has proved a rock beneath my feet, a sturdy, dependable, firm place to stand ... and He has continued to provide in many, varied and unusual ways! Often His provision has been unexpected, and causes me to look back in wonder and awe that He knows our needs, better even than I do!

It is humbling to be so dependent. We like to rely on our own strength and to be independent. But then I am reminded that the truth is - we have nothing in this world that has not been provided by our generous God. Even the very breath inside us, is His gracious provision!

By far the greatest, most unusual and unexpected gift is Jesus. Through bleary eyes, the cross can look as strange as a jar of pickles. This unusual gift was provided by God when we were least expecting ... when we hadn't even realised our greatest need, our need for Him.

I can fill my needs with all sorts of things ... but nothing satisfies - more than fully depending on Him.

Madly Skipping Around the Room, with full Abandon!

I was reading a story to my kids the other night – it was about a Mum who taught her daughter how to skip … and as I madly skipped around the room, with full abandon (!) to show them, Mummy could do it too, I was struck by something wonderful. My children help me to be myself. I don’t have to impress them or feel embarrassed in their presence – they don’t squash me into a box, restrict me, humiliate me or expect me to behave a particular way! I can just be ‘me’… which may include skipping madly around the room! I think this is a blessing from God that I should savour, as a mother of preschoolers … as I’m sure the time will come, when this will not be the case! Where a madly skipping mother will only bring embarrassment to her children!

Talking with lots of other Mum’s out there, I think it is common that we struggle with ‘who we are’ – when we become mothers. A lot of the things that used to define us, are no longer applicable. But I have found that being a mother has also reminded me, about a lot of things that used to also be ‘me’, that I had forgotten. This is pretty cool!

I have recently been reading and thinking about Psalm 139 in the Bible. It says that God knows everything about us, even better than we know ourselves! ‘Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord' (vs.4)…! He created us. He wonderfully ‘knit me together' (vs.13) in my mother’s womb. It says that ‘all the days ordained for me were written in your book, before one of them came to be’ (vs.16)!

I guess it could be a scary thought to be ‘known’ completely. Our masks and facades do not hold up before God, there is no way to hide from Him. There is no way to impress Him - the Creator of the universe, He knows us 'warts and all'. And yet the Bible describes this Creator God as being compassionate, slow to anger, rich in mercy and abounding in love. He ultimately demonstrated this love, through Jesus death and resurrection - dealing with the 'warts' and shame, that stand in the way of us being able to relate freely with a holy God. Through the work of the cross - our old grubby self is replaced with a new sqeaky clean version!

'Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ.' 2 Corinthians 5:17

How amazing and reassuring to be completely and unconditionally loved by my wonderful Creator God, who knows me - even better than I know myself! I am free to be myself- without shame... and to find my true identity - the person I was created to be, in being in relationship with Him.

This brings peace and joy to my heart!

Insanely Wonderful Generosity

My Mum is insanely wonderful in her generosity towards me … today she offered us a trip to Nepal to go and visit my sister!! I’m not sure that we can go … but in observing my Mum – I got an insight into the generosity of our Heavenly Father. If my Mum can be this generous, how much more God?! In fact the Bible talks about Gods grace and love being lavishly poured out to us … I wonder what prevents us at times from being willing or able to receive it? Is it unbelief or disbelief, pride or arrogance, pain, shame or anger? Is it a sense of condemnation? The work of Jesus dying on the cross deals with all these things! In realising this we are led to a place of humility, repentance and often brokeness. We do not deserve God’s insanely lavish gift of love and yet it gives him pleasure to freely give it! And in receiving it, we receive healing, freedom, dignity and life abundant. What a wonderful God! :)