Dandelion

Our trembling sinful desires make us sick - when we tremble with fear before a holy God. He knows our 'frame', how we were formed - that we are merely dust and only have our being, through his gracious breath. With one puff we would blow away like the seeds of a dandelion - insignificant and forgotten on the winds of time.

His breath hurts. The naked skin feels tender and exposed. Our heart aches ... we writhe in shame, preferring to hide from His tender gaze. We know it is too gracious, too generous. We know it is undeserved. We can't bear to let the burning desire of his jealous love for us, sink into our bones. It feels too heavy.  The intensity of His holy love - exposes the utter depravity of our own crippling attempts. Our love is weak, broken, fallible ... fallen.

And yet like a compassionate father holding his weak and fragile baby - the Father scoops us up (our shameful naked frame) and He breathes not the breath of wrath and destruction, but of love and redemption. Why? ... why? 

WHY?

So ...  it may be known through generations that 'the Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love.' The crown is not ours to boast about. We are not worthy of the golden threads of compassion that circle our head - their glint radiates His glory. He is worthy of all praise.

'Praise the LORD, my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the LORD, my soul,

and forget no all his benfits - 

who forgive all your sinse

and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.'

PSALM 103:1-5

A Strange Paradox

I am about to hang out washing and do yesterdays dishes. I have had low motivation this week and would prefer to stay in bed. Not sure if I lack physical energy ... or psychological energy! Such beautiful weather ... and I have ALL I need in Christ, so I really have no excuse or reason to feel 'lacking'. 

Practicing thankFULLness is harder some days more than others! 

Me being consumed with thoughts about 'me'- whether prideful or loathsome - are both dishonouring God; not recognising who He is, what He has done and who I am in Him. 

Oh, how I need his grace, mercy, love and acceptance hour by hour, minute by minute. Why do I not rest in this - in His love ... rather than being paralysed by my own thoughts, beating me up, from every side? The more angry I become with myself for not keeping up with the house or being the friend I think I should be - the more paralysed I become; the less I do; the more I procrastinate and avoid. BUT, when I rest in him ... I am suddenly FREE to spring into action! What a strange paradox! Knowing I am loved already - IN my frailty and inability - enables me to work hard, without feeling bound in obligation, guilt and self-loathing. My actions instead, spring gladly from a thankful response, and anything I am able to 'achieve' is a bonus - recognising His pure grace and enabling.

Romans 8:32

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Wayward Locks

Some-how there is a life lesson to learn, even in 'enduring' the unpredictable growing phase of wayward locks?!!

.... I so often try to keep the confines of my life, safe, short and 'manageable' - so that the outward expression is predictable and 'acceptable'. I am naturally vain when it comes to the appearance of my life - I want to 'look good' and seem like I've got it all together' (Ha!). This façade is easier, if I only reveal a tiny bit to others and 'cut off' all the rest. But this stunted, closed off person - is hardly the person God created me to be.

In contrast; growth and transformation is risky. People may witness the new wayward wisps that manage to make their haphazard way to freedom, ... and it is so easy for me to want to hurry, in chopping these off to a 'safe', predictable length - instead of allowing time to see what beauty and purpose may come out of the new vulnerable growth.

In fact the 'bad hair days' of life, where we have managed to get our brush completely tangled - and we cry hot childish tears of frustration ... these, are often the days when we finally realise the truth -that we cannot control our life. In our inability we cry out to our heavenly Father (who knows each one of us SO intimately, that even the very hairs on our head are numbered!). We realise He is the only one that can really see the whole picture of our life and who we are. We muddle and struggle, grasping at the loose ends - the deep roots of which we have never seen! Only He (like a patient Dad on a school morning), can truly sort out the 'birds nest' and untangle the knots. And it is in His gentle gracious hands that we realise we are accepted and loved despite stubborn cow-licks and unruly bouffant.

Can I dare to let go of the control I cling to so tightly and instead trust God, even when He is holding the scissors to cut away the 'split, dry and broken' in my life? Can I trust him to manage, style and transform me, in my 'growing out'? Will I be willing for him to use ALL of me for His glory?

... even the curly bits.